Thursday, November 26, 2015

Most Ridiculous Moment - November 22, 2015

"Shootout"

It was a very exciting day on the Sunday talk shows. With terror attacks in Paris and Mali, 
a lockdown in Brussels, and a leading Presidential candidate talking about making all American Muslims register for a database.

ABC's This Week in Fear and Panic sent Martha Raddatz to Brussels, where the 
whole city is on lockdown due to 
an “imminent threat.”

On CBS' Face the Nation, Senator Diane Feinstein called for more force against 
ISIS, and both she and Representative 
McCaul warned against the dangers of encryption, with Feinstein cautioning “terrorists could use PlayStation to be 
able to communicate, and there's nothing that 
can be done about it.”

McCaul is worried about refugees, saying 
“I take ISIS at its word when it says we want 
to exploit the refugee programs to 
infiltrate the West.”

On that same show, Ruth Marcus said “this week I've been nostalgic for the good old days of George W. Bush and his soothing, calming responsible words about Muslims after the 9/11 attacks,” and contrasted that with the “failure of President Obama to explain to people that they weren't crazy to be nervous, but to understand their nervousness and to explain it away.” Host Jon Dickerson followed up by saying “Karl Rove has to respond” to that high praise of his President.

Back on Meet The Press, Leon Panetta argued the U.S. is going to have re-invade Iraq and take territory away from ISIS.

Jon Kasich appeared on that show to argue 
“I think it's the Western ethic, Western civilization that is under attack. They don't want to negotiate. This is almost a metaphysical battle where they are saying they want to destroy our very way of life.”

Metaphysical it may be, but not enough to stop people on the terror watch list from buying guns or explosives, with Kasich saying, “Americans want to defend themselves. And that what we really need to focus on on firearms right now is making sure that states use their databases to upload the people who have mental illnesses.”

Another candidate, Ben Carson, was on 
ABC, where he said we said of ISIS 
“We need to take the land back. You know, the land is just sitting there.” On his lack of experience he said “I hope everybody is on a learning curve,” and “I don't know that it necessarily comes down to politics, it comes down to practical experience solving difficult problems doing things quickly and efficiently.”

Carson called for more monitoring of mosques, but also said we should 
“monitor anything – mosques, church, school, you know, shopping centers where there is a lot of radicalization going on.”

Ben Carson supports torture because it's not politically correct, and is willing to do anything to protect America, saying “We need to get very serious about our intelligence” and “We have to really improve that very significantly. We're talking about the safety of the American people.”

Carson is willing to do anything, except 
limit the sale of guns to terrorists.

On that, he said “You know, I am a big supporter of the Second Amendment, and I don't want to deprive people unnecessarily of that. There needs to be better due process.”

He said “there are a lot of people on that watchlist and they have no idea why they're on that list and they've been trying to get their names off of it and no one will give them information,” and “It's really unfair that people can't get a real hearing. And they get put on a list and nobody can tell them why they're there, and they go through for years and years and they have to be tormented. 
It just doesn't make any sense.”

But the most absurd moments came with George Stephanopoulos' interview with GOP front-runner Donald Trump. George asked him “Are you unequivocally now ruling out a database on all Muslims?” Trump responded, “No, not at all.”

He also supports torture, saying “we have to be strong. You know, they don’t use waterboarding over there – they use chopping off people’s heads. They use drowning people.”

He said “We have to surveil the mosques,” and claimed he's “heard” that the President wants to bring in 250,000 Syrian refugees.

Although the host pointed out it never happened, Trump insisted that on 9/11 “I watched in Jersey City, New Jersey, where thousands and thousands of people were cheering as that building was coming down. Thousands of people were cheering.” and “where you have large Arab populations.”

Stephanopoulos asked him several times if individuals on the terror watchlist and the no-fly list should be allowed to buy guns and explosives. Trump at first said if we have an enemy of state, I don't want to give him anything. I want to have him in jail,” but also said “if we know it's an enemy of state, I would keep them away, absolutely.”

He also volunteered, “If in Paris some of those people, if you had some of those people had guns, you wouldn't have had the horror show that you had,” and “if those people in Paris had guns in that room, it would have been a shootout and very few people would have been hurt by comparison to the number that were hurt.”

So, we have to reject women and children fleeing ISIS because we must take ISIS at their word; we should re-invade Iraq because the land is just sitting there; more torture will prevent French and Belgian youths from being radicalized; because we're in a war for Western civilization, we must surveil mosques, we have to monitor people everywhere, and create a database of Muslims; but gun background checks are a torment, and in any case, if there were more guns in Paris it would cause a shootout and few people would have been hurt.


And that's the most ridiculous thing that happened this Sunday.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Meet The Press – November 8, 2015

Reporters: Chris Jansing
Guests:
Donald Trump
Ben Carson
Sen. Diane Feinstein (D-CA)
Carly Fiorina
Gwen Ifill
Hugh Hewitt
Rachel Maddow
Mark Caputo


Todd: whew! Good morning!

Todd: omg the election is
exactly one year away!

Todd: the American people
hate their elected officials!

Todd: the voters love outsiders
like Ben Carson

Todd: But he may not have actually
stabbed a guy which is very disturbing

Jansing: hello Doctor Carson

Carson: lovely to see you Christine

Jansing: no one remembers you
saving white kids during the Martin
Luther King assassination riots

Carson: well it was a long time ago

Jansing: you said met General Westmoreland
when he was 1,000 miles away

Carson: well who knows where he was

Jansing: your brother could confirm
you once were crazy and violent 
but he won't which is sad

Carson: don't trust him – he only
says nice things about me

Jansing: didn't you expect to be vetted?

Carson: no one in history has ever
been asked questions like this

Jansing: they demanded Obama's 
birth certificate

Carson: no way not even close

Jansing: so why is everyone picking on you?

Carson: I'm a threat to the secular atheists

Jansing: is this fun for you?

Carson: no it's awful

Jansing: you don't want to be President?

Carson: no way – I'd rather play 
with my model trains

Jasing: nice talking to you

Carson: woo-hoo!

[ break ]

Todd: welcome Donald Trump

Trump: nice to be here Ted

Todd: what do you think
about Ben Carson?

Trump: I like Ben but he hit his mother
on the head with a hammer and hit
his friend on the head with a padlock
which shows an inability to choose

Todd: good point

Trump: a belt buckle cannot stop
a knife and believe me I know

Todd: I do believe you sir

Trump: Ben Carson has a pathology

Todd: you're not a doctor
so how would you know

Trump: pyramids are solid – they're
not hollow so you can't put grain in them

Todd: that checks out

Trump: I know because I put in a bid to
convert those old ruins into lovely hotels

Todd: good idea

Todd: you played a trick on me by citing
a lot of bad stuff about Ben Carson

Todd: no one else can make
America great again but me

Todd: no doubt

Trump: I'm number one!

Todd: go you

Trump: I'm in the pole position!

Todd: you say you can't put out
positions because that would weaken
your negotiating position but how can
people decide who to vote for you?

Trump: I like veterans!

Todd: how do you make
Mexico pay for the wall?

Trump: it will be a magnificent wall

Todd: how do you pay for it?

Trump: it will be very
easy – really really easy

Todd: and tariffs will pay for it?

Trump: no the Mexicans will
pay for the wall – I guarantee it

Todd: did you call Lee Atwater and
say 'I want to be Vice President'

Trump: Lee came to me and said 'you
would be a great Vice President' but
I was busy building my empire

Todd: doesn't hosting SNL
prove you're not serious

Trump: Hillary Clinton was on too but
I'm better than her because I hosted

Todd: you should you have taken
the protesters more seriously

Trump: oh screw those people

Todd: Larry David mocked the protests

Trump: I loved it!

Todd: they think you're a racist

Trump: we had a great time and
I'm doing great with the Hispanics
and we're going to win with the Hispanics

[ break ]

Todd: welcome Bernie Sanders

Sanders: nice to be here Chet

Todd: is it fair to point out Ben
Carson's biography is fiction?

Sanders: no it isn't

Todd: why not?

Sanders: because we have
massive income inequality

Todd: I see

Sanders: Doc Carson wants
to give tax cuts to the rich!

Todd: frankly I like that idea

Sanders: people are turned off politics
because the media are stupid and frivolous

Todd: I really can't argue
with you on that one

Sanders: the media wants me
to viciously attack Hillary Clinton

Todd: but lately you've been
critiquing Clinton – are you a hypocrite?

Sanders: I disagree with her on the issues
- that's what elections are for!

Todd: I suppose

Sanders: for example I want
to break up the banks

Todd: what's wrong with evolving on issues?

Sanders: nothing but I made
the right call on the Iraq war
when it mattered

Todd: big whoop

Sanders: also on trade and Keystone
and DOMA and drugs

Todd: okay okay

Sanders: who showed leadership
when it wasn't popular?

Todd: who put the ram in the
ramalamadingdong?

Sanders: that's a trick question Chad!

Todd: thanks for coming Ben

[ break ]

Todd: wow what a week and what a year!

Todd: welcome panelists!

Todd: will attacking the media 
work for Ben Carson?

Hewitt: Hillary Clinton is a criminal!

Maddow: Carson lied about West Point

Hewitt: I have no doubt someone
told Carson he could get into West Point

Maddow: but he did not get
an offer and he said he did

Hewitt: but he probably was
told he could get admitted

Maddow: he never applied and 
therefore was not offered a full
scholarship to West Point

Todd: he's running on biography!

Ifill: he's even lying about being 
called out on his lies

Todd: hey at least he's consistent

Ifill: they called Bill Clinton a murderer
and asked for Obama's birth certificate

Hewitt: Hillary Clinton has gotten
a free pass from the media!

Ifill: oh lord

Todd: what's the deal with Rubio?

Caputo: Team Rubio set Donald Trump
up by leaking bad stories about himself

Todd: ha ha I love it

Caputo: they let the hype build
and watched the story die!

Todd: fantastic!

[ break ]

Todd: oh boy that Russian plane 
may have been brought down by a bomb

Todd: was it a bomb?

Feinstein: yes because duh

Todd: so no doubts?

Feinstein: they're still working on it
but come on – we all know what happened

Todd: so that's scary

Feinstein: I'm delighted the
FBI is going to look into it

Todd: well that's something

Feinstein: we need to share
more information with Russia

Todd: you worry we're
not doing that?

Feinstein: I hope we are

Todd: do you believe it a bomb?

Feinstein: of course I do

Todd: what does this mean?

Feinstein: it means Russia is
now on our side against ISIL!

Todd: is this bombing
a wake up call to Putin?

Feinstein: a wake up call to us!

Todd: wake up everyone!

Feinstein: we need an all-out war with ISIS!

Todd: hell yeah

Feinstein: this is a world-wide problem!

Todd: It seems like it

Feinstein: it's time to panic!

Todd: this is very terrifying!

Todd: they're infiltrating baggage
handlers which is inconceivable!

Feinstein: we need to be on
our guard at every moment!

Todd: you think Obama isn't war-like enough

Feinstein: damn right!

Todd: I see

Feinstein: we need to use large
numbers of us troops to go after ISIS

Todd: the President doesn't want to do that

Feinstein: bombing is great
but it's no going to cut it Todd

Todd: perhaps not

Feinstein: we need to go to war!

Todd: wow I hope they listen to your advice

Feinstein: me too Ted

[ break ]

Todd: welcome Carly

Fiorina: hi Chad

Todd: you have no policy plans on your website

Fiorina: politicians do that all the time

Todd: they do it for a reason

Fiorina: anyone can write a plan

Todd: so do it then

Fiorina: we need a tax code three pages long

Todd: can we see it in writing?

Fiorina: words on paper are useless things

Todd: so you don't have a tax plan

Fiorina: I've given you a plan – lower taxes!

Todd: okay thanks then

[ break ]

Todd: it's been 100 years since a two-term
President lost so many House seats

Todd: plus under Obama's the Democratic
party has lost 900 state legislative seats!

Todd: it's the worst track record
since that loser Eisenhower!

Todd: panel why are Democrats
losing all across America?

Maddow: the GOP invests in state-level
races and Democrats don't which is dumb

Caputo: the Obama political machine 
can only win with Obama

Todd: Obama is toxic!

Caputo: and in Florida no one likes Obama

Todd: the Democrats may not 
recover for 40 years!

Hewitt: all Democrats are terrible people

Todd: here are some clips of the 
Democratic forum!

Clinton: I will go to war if have to!

Sanders: I'm principled!

O'Malley: I love immigrants!

Ifill: Rachel you did a great job

Maddow: thank you

Ifill: one-on-one interviews can 
be very revealing

Todd: it's unbelievable how 
confident Clinton is

Maddow: she needs to run out the clock
but that's how you get into trouble

Caputo: Ben Carson said he didn't really
want to be President which is weird

Hewitt: you have show energy and
want to run and be President

Ifill: they're all using this tv show to raise money

Todd: why won't Fiorina put out 
some plans on paper?

Hewitt: Rubio did it!

Todd: I know!

Maddow: we could always print
out copies of her interviews

Todd: George H.W. Bush attacked
Rumsfeld and Cheney for tricking his
son into starting a war for no reason

Caputo: Dick Cheney is back baby!

Todd: what is the Bush family legacy?

Hewitt: George Bush kept us safe!

Ifill: I would love to be at the
Bush family thanksgiving table

Maddow: I can't believe we're even
considering giving this dangerous lunatic
family the White House again

Caputo: I guarantee George P Bush
will run for President

Todd: omg maybe Barbara Bush
was right – we've really had too many Bushes

Hewitt: we don't do dynasties well here
ever since the Adams family

Maddow: but at least Quincy's
loser brother didn't run

Caputo: this Bush Thanksgiving is
going to be most awkward ever

Todd: George H.W. Bush didn't
get out until May of 1980

Caputo: don't forget early voting!

Todd: omg this 'Prostitutes over Patriots' 
tv ad is fucking vicious

Caputo: ain't no politics like Louisiana politics

Maddow: technicallly Vitter
chose Prostitutes after Patriots

Todd: and that's another
episode of Meet The Press