Sunday, July 26, 2015

Meet The Press – July 26, 2015

Senator Bernie Sanders (I-VT)
Governor Jon Kasich (R-OH)
Sara Fagen – Fmr. Bush White House
Jose Diaz-Balart
Ron Fournier
Amy Walter
Pat Buchanan
John Nichols

Todd: OMG we polled all voters
in the early primary states which
makes no sense

Todd: it's bad news for Hillary!

Todd: she only leads Bernie 
Sanders by 13 points!

Todd: E-mails! Benghazi!

Todd: welcome to the show Bernie

Sanders: hiya Charles

Todd: let's talk about how
much you love guns

Sanders: I voted to ban assault
weapons and for background checks
and to close the gun show loophole

Todd: okay

Sanders: no one should be 
allowed to have a gun if they 
commit domestic violence!

Todd: what else?

Sanders: we should ban certain guns!

Todd: you're on fire!

Sanders: guns mean different
thing in a hunting state like Vermont

Todd: background checks don't
always work so shouldn't we not have them?

Sanders: this Louisiana shooter
was mentally ill and shouldn't
have had a gun

Todd: well we have those
laws on the books

Sanders: well then we need 
to enforce those laws

Todd: you had a confrontation
with Black Lives Matter

Sanders: it was not a confrontation

Todd: okay

Sanders: look I care very
much about Sandra Bland

Todd: you were dismissive
of the black lives matter protesters

Sanders: no I was not dismissive –
they interrupted a very interesting
panel discussion on Ben vs Jerry

Todd: I see

Sanders: Martin Luther King
was working on economic injustice
when he was killed

Todd: you don't care 
about institutional racism

Sanders: of course I do
I care about Sandra Brand

Todd: okay you said her name

Sanders: the middle class is disappearing!

Todd: all right

Sanders: it's morally unacceptable
that the top one tenth of 1% has
as much as the bottom 90%

Todd: perhaps

Sanders: my message is
resonating all across America

Todd: every lazy pundit says
you and Trump are the same

Sanders: billionaires can buy elections

Todd: yeah yeah

Sanders: shut up Todd

Todd: so you still claim 
you're not Donald Trump

Sanders: no that's bullshit

Todd: strong language

Sanders: we need a campaign
finance system so people can
run for office without being
beholden to the Koch brothers

Todd: thanks for coming Bernie

[ break ]

Todd: panelists Bernie is pretty 
defensive on guns and race

Walter: Sanders is blunt and
fun and that's different from
Clinton but Democrats still like her

Todd: people really like
Bernie Sanders – why?

Fournier: because no one knows who he is

Todd: ha ha

Fournier: Donald Trump and
Bernie Sanders are the same person

Todd: right

Fournier: also Hillary is dishonest
and everyone hates her

Todd: Bernie is weak on immigration

Diaz-Balart: Sanders is not 
focus-group driven – he's honest 
which is just like Donald Trump

Todd: Hillary is being driven to the left

Fagen: Clinton is an extreme
leftist and is doomed!

Fournier: I disagree – she's doomed
because no one trusts her!

Walter: that's right – she's
untrustworthy and Sanders is authentic

Fournier: Clinton should just 
drop out and be evil full-time

[ break ]

Todd: Donald Trump and Bernie
Sanders are both populists

Todd: they are both fed up with
political correctness and are angry

Todd: both have supporters
who are white and pissed off

Todd: Remember Pat Buchanan
was an elitist who ran as an
angry racist outsider

Todd: and Ross Perot was a
rich guy railing against blue
collar jobs lost to NAFTA

Todd: Sanders is a modern day
Gene McCarthy and is drawing big crowds

Todd: he's turning Clinton is a liberal

[ break ]

Todd: welcome to my show Pat Buchanan

Buchanan: nice to be here Todd

Todd: does Trump remind you of
your own campaign in 1992?

Buchanan: you betcha – he's the only 
one with the guts to point out the 
conquest of America by Mexico

Todd: aren't Trump and Sanders the same?

Nichols: no

Todd: oh no?

Nichols: Bernie is tapping into
mass movements – minimum wage,
black lives matter, occupy

Buchanan: that's leftist populism
where people want food to eat

Todd: right

Buchanan: Trump is tapping into
a very well-founded terror of 
brown-skinned people

Todd: that sounds right

Buchanan: you had that lady in
Texas who was killed and then
later killed herself

Nichols: President Obama won
the 2008 primary and two general 
elections running on liberal populist issues

Buchanan: bald appeals to racism
can get you the nomination

Nichols: a billionaire beating
up on immigrants is not populism

Buchanan: he's going to
make America great again

Nichols: the greatest populist ever
was FDR and he didn't attack
immigrants or poor people

Buchanan: but he was a liberal!

Nichols: and he won four times!

Todd: we'll have to continue
this fight in the green room

[ break ]

Ted Cruz: Mitch McConnell is big liar!

Rand Paul: watch me chainsaw the tax code

Lindsey Graham: I'm going
to destroy my smartphone in
the name of veterans everywhere

Todd: Trump is in second place in Iowa

Todd: while Bobby Jindal and Lindsey 
Graham and Carly Fiorina are all one 1%

Todd: Donald Trump is in first place 
in New Hampshire with 21%

Todd: and again Jindal and
Graham and Rick Perrry are at 1%

Todd: after Trump said
John McCain was not a war
hero he got more popular in Iowa

Fagen: true Trump leads in
the polls but you know 80% 
of Republicans don't like him

Walter: yes a lot of people hate him 
– he's peaking

Todd: I used to think that too
but Trump keeps on surging

Fournier: Donald Trump is a
lying slippery liberal like Hillary Clinton

Diaz-Balart: I have some news
for you people – latinos are not
a demographic – they are America!

Fournier: that's frightening

Diaz: sprinkle that on your oatmeal

Fournier: oatmeal is bland and mushy
and untrustworthy like Hillary Clinton

Diaz-Balart: splash that on 
your huevos rancheros

Fournier: ranch is good 

Todd: yes it is Ron

Fournier: I like ranch

[ break ]

Todd: there are 16 people
running for the GOP nomination
and here's the latest

Todd: welcome Governor Kasich

Kasich: hi Chuck

Todd: are you too nice
to run for President?

Kasich: I'm a problem solver

Todd: all right

Kasich: I'm reforming everything

Todd: you talk about your experience
in Washington which is weird because
voters hate Washington

Kasich: voters want us
get things done

Todd: so they say

Kasich: I balanced the
budget all by myself

Todd: I remember that

Kasich: I'm running to fix America

Todd: that's boring

Kasich: we're not running
for class President

Todd: then you'd have better debates

Kasich: we need to grow up!

Todd: what's the biggest
challenge for next President?

Kasich: islamic terrorism

Todd: cool answer bro

Kasich: we should have troops
on the ground to defeat ISIS

Todd: you would send U.S.
troops to re-invade Iraq?

Kasich: absolutely!

Todd: Iowans hate NAFTA

Kasich: NAFTA was a good thing

Todd: talk like that's not
going to get you elected

Kasich: I'm not running
to get elected Chuck

Todd: that could be a problem

Kasich: but we're
not gonna be saps either

Todd: okay no saps – got it
just one question – what's a sap

Kasich: but I love
blue collar workers!

Todd: what about immigration?

Kasich: we should seal the border!

Todd: how?

Kasich: a fence

Todd: what else

Kasich: a big fence

Todd: okay

Kasich: I also favor a
guest worker program

Todd: what about 12 million undocumented
immigrants currently in America?

Kasich: if they're hard- working
and don't commit crimes they should stay

Todd: some say they committed
a crime by coming here

Kasich: well that's silly

Todd: that's much too reasonable

Kasich: Reagan worked with Tip O'Neill!

Todd: Facebook wants to
know why you caved to the unions

Kasich: frankly people like unions

Todd: what do you make
of Donald Trump?

Kasich: I'm not getting into that

Todd: oh come one

Kasich: no I'm not talking about it
- he scares me

Todd: you said after government
you worked in the the real world
which was on Fox news

Kasich: it's kind of the real world

Todd: not really

Kasich: I worked in the real world
serving on corporate boards and
for Lehman brothers

Todd: that's rough man

Kasich: my dad was a mailman

Todd: now that's the real world

Kasich: yeah it is ha ha

[ break ]

Todd: a group recently released
an edited video about Planned
Parenthood and I'm obliged to
show clips from that

Todd: what's the bigger story here
the fake videos or Planned
Parenthood's actions?

Walter: the story is Planned
Parenthood is donating tissue

Fagen: they're committing
infanticide and other crimes

Diaz-Balart: if you see the
unedited video that's not true

Fournier: whenever someone
points out they are victims
of a deceptively edited video
you know they must be wrong

Todd: what a smart thing to say

Fournier: abortion is wrong
and Planned Parenthood is icky

Todd: is this about defunding
Planned Parenthood?

Walter: of course it is

Fournier: they should just donate the tissue

Diaz-Balart: it's visceral

Todd: this video was a success
so groups on the left and right will
all start releasing edited videos which
we will have to discuss thus further
elevating our political discourse

Fournier: can I say something?

Todd: um let me think

[ pauses ]

Todd: no – we gotta go

Fournier: awww

Todd: and that's another
episode of Meet The Press

This Week with George Stephanopoulos – July 26, 2015

Alex Marquardt
Pierre Thomas
David Wright
Jon Karl
Admiral James Stavridis (Ret.)
Loretta Lynch – U.S. Attorney General
Cecile Richards – President of 
Planned Parenthood
Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN)
Matthew Dowd
Maggie Haberman
Ana Navarro

Stephanopoulos: omg Turkey 
is finally fighting ISIS!

Marquardt: Turkey is bombing ISIS!

Marquardt: they're even letting
the U.S. to fly out of Turkey!

Marquardt: this was only
after ISIS attacked Turkey

Marquardt: but ISIS is also bombing
the Kurds who are also fighting ISIS

Marquardt: is this a game changer?

Stephanopoulos: I don't know Alex – is it?

Marquardt: I thought you would know

Stephanopoulos: welcome Admiral

Stavridis: nice to be here George

Stephanopoulos: is Turkey
bombing ISIS a game changer?

Stavridis: we'll know in a year

Stephanopoulos: I want to
know right now

Stavridis: the real game changer
would be if Turkey invades Syria

Stephanopoulos: what about the Kurds?

Stavridis: we can't have
a two-front war George

Stephanopoulos: what should the US do now?

Stavridis: we should send 10,000
U.S. troops to fuck up ISIS's shit

Stephanopoulos: nice

[ break ]

Thomas: OMG ISIS is a clear
and present danger!!

Thomas: is this the most dangerous
threat since 9/11?!?

Lynch: they're very dangerous

Thomas: holy shit they're on 
social media promoting killing

Lynch: they're on the twitter!

Thomas: they say just do it!

Thomas: Americans have been
caught with pressure cookers!

Lynch: it's unpredictable!

Thomas: they're fucking invisible!
It's like a superpower!

Lynch: it's a problem

Thomas: ISIS might develop
the bility to do a cyber attack!

Lynch: maybe

Thomas: and you even
admit the FBI can't predict
everything all the time

Lynch: well sure

Thomas: lives are literally
hanging in the balance!

Stephanopoulos: eek

Thomas: ISIS is reaching
angry unstable millenials!

[ break ]

Wright: omg look at this video that
may or may not make 
Planned Parenthood look bad

Wright: this anti-choice activist
says inflammatory things which
we will now repeat

Wright: Planned Parenthood
says the videos are selectively
edited but who knows

Boehner: it made me vomit 
or that may have been the scotch

Wright: these activists may have
more hoaxed videos which we
will also show

Stephanopoulos: more fake
videos will come out!

Richards: these are highly edited videos
by murderous anti-choice activists

Stephanopoulos: but you did
apologize for your tone so you
must be guilty of something

Richards: yes but we're a huge
non-profit health care provider

Stephanopoulos: do you ever harvest tissue?

Richards: yes but in less than five places

Stephanopoulos: okay

Richards: they spent three
years trying to entrap doctors
and all they got was this deceptive video

Stephanopoulos:well it's working

Richards: they had fake IDs
and fake tax documents

Stephanopoulos: okay but
the full videos are out now

Richards: and the full videos
show we did nothing wrong

Stephanopoulos: why do you haggle?

Richards: the only ones are
haggling are the lying hoaxers

Stephanopoulos: maybe

Richards: one in five women
in America use our health care services

Stephanopoulos: one in four 
Americans eat at McDonald's

Richards: this is a smear campaign
to destroy Planned Parenthood

Stephanopoulos: even so

Richards: no one does more
than us to prevent unwanted pregnancies

Stephanopoulos: a conservative
writer says if you did bad things
that would be bad

Richards: who cares?

Stephanopoulos: aren't you making money

Richards: no

Stephanopoulos: no?

Richards: no we're not

Stephanopoulos: really?

Richards: you've fallen for a hoax George

Stephanopoulos: but one of the
videos says you harvest organs

Richards: it's a fake George

Stephanopoulos: one of the doctors
talks about preserving organs

Richards: donating fetal tissue
can cure ebola!

Stephanopoulos: maybe

Richards: it's laudable

Stephanopoulos: I see

Richards: the disgusting acts come from 
these liars and they don't care about 
women getting breast cancer screenings

Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming

[ break ]

Karl: the GOP has 99 problems
and Donald Trump is all of them

Karl: incredibly he is the
leading the entire GOP field

Karl: remember this man
is a game show host

Karl: he called Lindsey
Graham an idiot – and that was
the nicest thing he said all week

Karl: but more than half
of Republicans don't like him

Karl: if he ran as a third party
candidate he could wreck the
Republican party

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: Matthew Dowd
what the fuck is going on?

Dowd: Republicans are very angry

Stephanopoulos: true

Dowd: anger can be a good thing

Stephanopoulos: true but not in this case

Dowd: this the bad kind of anger

Dowd: one quarter of GOP
voters love this guy

Haberman: they knew this was coming 
– candidates kissed his ring for two years 
and now he's turned on them

Navarro: some candidates are in
hiding and others are taking him on

Stephanopoulos: Keith admit it –
you love this!

Ellison: look this lunatic could be
elected if we don't get out and vote Democratic

Stephanopoulos: he's going to
dominate the debates isn't he?

Dowd: you've got to get into
the debates which means being 
outrageous to get attention

Stephanopoulos: yeah it's weird

Dowd: why not get free publicity and
do the right thing by taking on Donald Trump

Stephanopoulos: will Jeb Bush do that?

Navarro: you can't get just get up
on stage and say 'I'm rich and people
love me now vote for me''

Stephanopoulos: I don't know Ana
it seem to be working just fine

Navarro: oh god

Dowd: this is not happening