Jeff Flake (R-AZ)
Sunday, November 23, 2014
Stephanopoulos: omg all hell is
about to break in Ferguson!
Reporter: they're setting up the
barricades and ready for a fight!
Stephanopoulos: I sat down with the
President at the Emperor's White House
Stephanopoulos: Greetings your majesty
Obama: good morning George
Stephanopoulos: what is your message
to the Ferguson protesters?
Obama: be peaceful – that's the American way
Stephanopoulos: is it really?
Obama: I got Eric Holder to talk to the
protesters like they were human beings
Stephanopoulos: well that is new
Stephanopoulos: are you worried
Obama: I talked to Jay Nixon
and he told me is ready
Stephanopoulos: and you believe him?
Obama: hell no
Obama: look minorities need law enforcement
more than anybody – in Chicago they want more cops
Stephanopoulos: interesting point
Obama: but we needs cops to tell the
difference between a gangbanger
and good kid wearing a hoodie
Stephanopoulos: John Lewis says
this is like Selma
Obama: no it's more of a solvable problem
Stephanopoulos: what's the solution?
Obama: for the police will stop shooting
unarmed people because they look scary
Stephanopoulos: will you go to Ferguson?
Obama: I would but I don't want
to get pulled over and shot
Stephanopoulos: best to stay away then
Stephanopoulos: you black people think
race relations are getting worse in America
Obama: maybe but look back 10 or 50
years ago – things are definitely not worse
Stephanopoulos: you think so?
Obama: you think a dude named Hussein
Obama would get elected
President 50 years ago?
Stephanopoulos: not in America
Obama: bad incidents just get more attention now what with the tweeters and bookfacers
Stephanopoulos: and everyone
has a camera now
Obama: look I was discriminated against
as a young man although it's been a
while I experienced racism directly
Stephanopoulos: this week a Republican
Congressman said he wants to put you in jail
Obama: ok so it hasn't been that long
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: Pierre the DOJ
is also looking into this
Thomas: yes the federal government
is investigating the whole Ferguson
police department for bias
Stephanopoulos: that should go well
Thomas: when the grand jury doesn't
indict everyone will expect the
Dept. of Justice to do something
Stephanopoulos: Dan how does
the grand jury work?
Abrams: it's a casual free-wheeling affair -
they invited Officer Brown for a
pizza and beer party
Stephanopoulos: but in this case the
prosecutor is not pushing for an indictment
Abrams: right – he even invited
defense experts to testify
Crump: it's ridiculous!
Stephanopoulos: you think so?
Crump: he's giving this police officer
extra rights no other defendant gets
Abrams: but what if the prosecutor
is an idiot – isn't this the right approach?
Stephanopoulos: will you accept
the result of the grand jury?
Crump: sure but this whole
thing is a big scam
Stephanopoulos: but what if
Michael Brown was 100 feet away
but running toward Officer Wilson?
Crump: then you don't shoot!
Stephanopoulos: it sounds like you've
already decided the process is unfair
Crump: darn right – because it is unfair!
Stephanopoulos: but what if there was
a struggle for the gun – doesn't Officer Wilson
have to shoot the guy 100 feet away?
Crump: give me a break George
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: Boehner says you're
an emperor with a new groove
Obama: well then maybe John Boehner
is acting like a dictator refusing to
hold a vote in the House
Obama: or he can work with
me to craft a new bill
Stephanopoulos: he says won't do that
Obama: I offered to wash his dog!
Stephanopoulos: before you said you
weren't an emperor and now you've
deferred deportations like most dictators do
Obama: look we always prioritize
deportations so that's all I'm doing now
Stephanopoulos: hmmm still sounds
Obama: Reagan and George
Bush did the same thing
Stephanopoulos: you mean the
one-termer or the bad one?
Obama: H.W. Bush
Stephanopoulos: yes but that was
only after Congress acted
Obama: well if the President was fixing
what Congress didn't do then it's
the same thing isn't it
Stephanopoulos: maybe technically
Obama: look we're going to
make immigrants pay taxes –
who doesn't support that?
Stephanopoulos: what if the next Republican
President deferred prosecutions for people
who won't pay high taxes?
Obama: you mean like deferred
prosecutions for mortgage fraud or torture?
Obama: look we have limited resources
and we're going to deport felons first
Stephanopoulos: so you wouldn't agree
that a GOP President could defer
prosecutions for tax fraud?
Obama: absolutely not
Stephanopoulos: damn I thought
I chance there
Obama: even GOP politicians say
we can't deport 11 million people
Stephanopoulos: Ted Cruz says the GOP
should cease all cooperation with you
until you deport all immigrants
Obama: including his family?
Stephanopoulos: ha ha
Obama: look they're always angry about
something – last year they shut down
the government over Obamacare
Stephanopoulos: they say won't
do that this time
Obama: well then we shouldn't
have a problem then
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: everyone agrees
Obama is wrong but isn't he kicking ass here?
Dowd: yes but he made everything
worse because he made Republicans
act even crazier
vanden Heuvel: Boehner has
had 18 months to pass a law
Dowd: so if a bill doesn't pass the
House we just bypass the legislature?
vanden Heuvel: the President is right
on the law and saved 5 million people
Carson: we need reform and the GOP
needs to put out their version of the law
Carville: Obama is fucking brilliant
and putt the GOP in a trap and I fucking love it
Dowd: no no it's very bad for the President
and the Democrats because it shows
yet again how they have failed to
make Republicans do the right thing
Carville: that's fucking bullshit
Carson: lets not bicker about
who is right and wrong
vanden Heuvel: one side is wrong!
Carson: but there are poor white
people too in Appalachia
vanden Heuvel: what does that have
to do with immigration?
Carville: Boehner is a jackass
Dowd: that's true
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: you're making
a deal with Iraq
Obama: we're already had more
success on Iran nukes than
any other administration
Stephanopoulos: will Iraq join the
fight against ISIS?
Obama: well Iran still sponsors terrorism
but it might begin the process where
Iran joins the civilized world
Stephanopoulos: you think
that could ever happen?
Obama: I like the Iranians –
its not like North Korea
Stephanopoulos: Hillary tweeted support
for your seizure of monarchical powers
probably because she's going to be Queen next
Obama: she'd make a great President
Stephanopoulos: do you talk to
each other a lot?
Obama: oh sure I text her all
the time on my blackberry
Stephanopoulos: you still have a blackberry?
Obama: you know what they say George
Stephanopoulos: would you endorse her?
Obama: I'm going to work hard to make
sure I'm succeeded by a Democrat
if it's her or someone else
Stephanopoulos: well sure
Obama: but I think voters want a
candidate with that new car smell
Stephanopoulos: interesting metaphor
Obama: in the meantime I'm still the President!
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: welcome Bibi –
what do you think of a potential
deal with Iran?
Posted by - at 3:39 PM