Sunday, January 26, 2014

Meet The Press – January 26, 2014

Chuck Todd
Loretta Sanchez (D-CA)
Mike Murphy
Carolyn Ryan (NYT)
Michael Powell
Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY)
Jesselyn Radack (Snowden Legal Advisor)
Michael Chertoff
Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL)
Harry Smith
Billie Jean King

Gregory: OMG there was another
mall shooting in Maryland

Todd: Obama is not going to
talk about gun control but economics

Gregory: right

Todd: this is the last ever State of
the Union by Obama that anyone
will ever care about

Murphy: exactly – this is the
last one he will ever give

Gregory: right!

Sanchez: that's stupid – the President
has influence every day he is President

Gregory: good point Loretta –
but on the other hand I hate Obama

Sanchez: we all know that Fluffy

Gregory: let's stop talking substance
I hate that

Ryan: there is a stampede of people
who don't think Obama is relevant

Gregory: Let me talk to a Republican –
Rand Paul you say Obama is immoral

Paul: I'm a tea partier and even I'm
amazed at how much you
hate Obama David

Gregory: really?

Paul: yes – I'm working with Obama
now on infrastructure spending and
other things we do agree on

Gregory: well I still love you

Paul: thanks Greggers

Gregory: how can we get you
elected President?

Paul: I want to cut spending and
give money to businesses

Gregory: but we have to fight Republicans
like Ted Cruz to get you the nomination

Paul: my Dad was a genuine guy
who was beloved by black people

Gregory: is the federal government a tyranny?

Paul: yes like when government 
does too much

Gregory: you called Edward Snowden a hero

Paul: no I said he honestly believed
he was right and brought abuses to
light but also people in intelligence
have to obey the law and keep secrets

Gregory: so how should he be rewarded?

Paul: he should be punished
but not with the death penalty

Gregory: so what should his punishment be?

Paul: I don't know but Clapper lied
to Congress which is also against the law

Gregory: Rep. Mike Rogers says
Snowden is a Russian spy

Paul: well he is in Russia which
has no privacy so that's suspicious

Gregory: but is he a spy?

Paul: I don't know what Mike Rogers 
is talking about

Gregory: Huckabee says Democrats
say women have an uncontrollable libido

Paul: I fought the war on women
and women won

Gregory: they did?

Paul: yes – my sister is an ob gyn
and I know a girl in veterinary school

Gregory: what about ladies' libidos?

Paul: women have a come a long way baby
women in my family are doing great

Gregory: okay

Paul: we should extol their success
not attack them with basic health coverage

Gregory: you have an ongoing
feud with Chris Christie

Paul: he's the King of Bacon

Gregory: your feud is like the east coast
west coast rap wars but with two
white guys battling to see who can
win over other angry white guys

Paul: ha ha

Gregory: do you think Chris Christie
could get the GOP nomination?

Paul: no

Gregory: why not?

Paul: because Republicans are 
fiscal conservatives!

Gregory: since when?

Paul: since January 2009

Gregory: right I forgot

Paul: we can't borrow money
from China just to help some
pathetic New Jeresyans hit by a hurricane

Gregory: if Hillary Clinton runs
for President will you bring 
up Monica Lewinsky?

Paul: yes because she was a 20 year-old intern

Gregory: please continue

Paul: Bill took advantage of a young girl!

Gregory: so you would use this 
against Hillary Clinton?

Paul: yes because of the
so-called war on women

Gregory: I see

Paul: if anyone in my community did
what Bill Clinton did he would be
shunned by decent society

Gregory: like someone who 
writes racist newsletters?

Paul: no fair!!

[ break ]

Gregory: Dick what about Monica Lewinsky?

Durbin: yes let's all revisit the impeachment
that will certainly improve Republicans chances

Gregory: let's talk about Ed Snowden

Durbin: he ignited a debate but he
was also trusted with valuable 
information and violated his oath 
and we can't overlook that

Gregory: Mike Rogers says
Snowden might be a Russia spy

Durbin: I haven't seen any evidence of that

Gregory: what about bulk
collection of metadata?

Durbin: we have to come up with an alternative

Gregory: what can we expect
from Congress in 2014?

Durbin: a new era of bipartisanship

Gregory: are you kidding??

Durbin: yes – we have a budget now
and we might even get a farm bill

Gregory: dare to dream –
what about the debt ceiling?

Durbin: the government shutdown 
burned Republicans so hopefully 
they've learned their lesson

Gregory: when we come back – more Ed Snowden!

[ break ]

Gregory: what about the Clintons [ giggle ]

Powell: they are a galactic force! [ giggle ]

Gregory: what about Hillary!? [ giggle ]

Sanchez: she's a great Senator

Gregory: but Monica Lewinsky! [ giggles ]

Sanchez: she was a terrific Secretary
of State and by the way Bill Clinton 
is very popular

Gregory: but she's really old

Ryan: she comes from a dynastic family

Gregory: exactly all these Clintons
keep getting elected

Ryan: also populists want Wall
Street bankers arrested which
should hurt Hillary

Murphy: Bill Clinton is a terrible
problem because of all the sex he has

Todd: voters will be hungry to end
polarization and the Clintons are polarizing

Sanchez: polarizing?! Hillary is
popular among Republicans!

Powell: Hillary Clinton has been away
from politics for so long she missed
when gay people and pot became popular

Gregory: well who can win?

Powell: Chris Christie – we need
someone down and dirty

Gregory: we need someone dirty?

Powell: yes – Republicans wants
someone rough and a little criminal

Murphy: Christie didn't know
about Bridgegate – but he's tough

Todd: well is he tough and dirty
or clean and ignorant?

Gregory: let's stop and say nice
things about Mitt Romney for a few minutes

[ shows clip for documentary movie “Mitt” ]

Gregory: [ ha ha ha ha ha ]
I love him

Murphy: it show politicians are not caricatures

Sanchez: the movie shows how
hard politics are on the family

Ryan: he has a good sense of humor

Gregory: Anne Romney is so nice

Murphy: he's a wonderful man

Todd: if you're thinking of running for
President go watch this documentary
and then you won't

[ break ]

Gregory: when we come back
more Ed Snowden – I promise!

[ break ]

Gregory: Eric Holder says the DOJ is
willing to enter into conversations with Snowden

Radack: yes but he took amnesty off
the table which is disheartening

Gregory: I see

Radack: also Ed Snowden has
suffered a great deal already

Gregory: how so?

Radack: the government took away
his passport and he's being forced
to live in Russia

Gregory: Mike Rogers says he
might be a Russian spy

Radack: it shows the government
is desperate since the government
panel found NSA programs might
be illegal and ineffective

Gregory: okay

Radack: even the FBI says he acted alone!

Gregory: thanks – say to Eddie for me

[ break ]

Gregory: welcome Mr Chertoff –
how can we get Ed Snowden back to America?

Chertoff: how the hell should I know fluffy?

Gregory: is it irresponsible to call him a spy?

Chertoff: well now that depends
on if he is a spy

Gregory: hmmm interesting point

Gregory: some people like Snowden
and some don't

Chertoff: I don't like him and I don't like you

Gregory: his lawyers says he's
been punished enough

Chertoff: he's free in Russia and
regaling the world – he's not being punished

Gregory: can he get a fair trial?

Chertoff: of course he can

Gregory: I suppose so

Chertoff: but he would be found guilty

Gregory: see that's unfair because he
says under the Constitution every 
intelligence employee gets to decide 
which secrets to divulge

Chertoff: sorry I wasn't listening -- 
I was contemplating killing 
you right now

Gregory: what about security at
the Sochi Olympics?

Chertoff: we need cooperation 
with the Russians

Gregory: do we have that?

Chertoff: how the hell would I know?

Gregory: the Olympics are a hard target! [ grins fatuously ]

Chertoff: and people think I'm weird

Gregory: should we have barricades
in front of schools and malls?

Chertoff: you can't make a mall a
fortress but you can teach people
to shelter in place

Gregory: woot

[ break ]

Smith: Billie Jean King fought for equal
prize money which made her a rabble rouser

King: I was determined to fight for equality

Smith: she thrashed Bobby Riggs

King: lots of women went to
work the next day and asked for a raise

Smith: you were outed as a lesbian in 1981

King: I lost all my endorsements
but it led my to more truth

Smith: you're a pioneer

King: I am but never thought
of myself that way

Smith: is there a message
in your going to Sochi?

King: our very presence is a message

Smith: terrorists might hit Sochi

King: I'm not worried – we have to be there!

Smith: will we ever have female president?

King: sure – hopefully soon?

Smith: how about an openly gay President?

King: not in my lifetime

Smith: what's your message to the world?

King: stay true to yourself

Gregory: and that's another
episode of Meet The Press

This Week with George Stephanopoulos – January 26, 2014

Host: Jonathan Karl
Martha Raddatz
Rep. Peter King (R-NY)
Jay Carney (White House Press Secretary)
Cokie Roberts
Rick Santorum
Greta Van Susteren
Van Jones

Karl: OMG Sochi might not be safe!

Raddatz: there are Black Widow
suicide bombers at the Olympics

Karl: holy crap!

Raddatz: there's no defense against
a woman determined to blow herself up

Karl: shit

Raddatz: Americans can't wear
anything that says 'American' like
cheeseheads or pajamas or ugly sweaters

Karl: drat

Raddatz: also the USA has sent
warships over there for some reason

Karl: did the US share our
jamming technology?

Raddatz: no our jamming
secrets are too secret

Karl: Congressman can you assure
our athletes they will be safe?

King: no it's so dangerous there
it's like hosting an Olympics in Detroit

Karl: but Americans have to hide that
they are Americans! Has it come to that?!

King: yes – it turns out the USA is
not popular in countries not America

Karl: sweet jesus

King: also athletes or their families
should not wander around or
leave their rooms or make
eye contract with anyone

Karl: so it's like New York

King: exactly Jon

King: also the Russians
will not cooperate with us on
our offer to enhance their security

Karl: but Martha said the USA
won't share our precious jams

King: well we can't share our
jamming tech with Russia –
they hate us you know

Karl: Russia and the terrorists
who hate Russia both hate us?

King: that's right

Karl: yikes

Karl: what about the SuperBowl?

King: this will be the first
Bridge & Tunnel SuperBowl!

Karl: time for some traffic problems lol

King: it makes terrorism more likely
because people can hide bombs
under their clothes in the subway

Karl: that's scary

King: but this is going to be a
very safe SuperBowl which is
great for New York

Karl: but the game is in New Jersey

King: shhh!

[ break ]

Karl: the State of the Union is
Obama's Make or Break Moment!

Carney: 2014 will be a year of action

Karl: Obama made a lot of promises
in last year's address that didn't happen

Carney: no those were 
proposals not promises

Karl: same thing

Carney: no they are not

Karl: people don't like Obamacare

Carney: we expanded access to
health care for millions of Americans!

Karl: but you might lose the Senate

Carney: what is the GOP proposal for
providing health care for millions
of Americans?

Karl: repeal Obamacare?

Karl: Republicans says Obama
is to blame for poverty in 2009

Carney: the Bush recession
was in full bloom in 2009

Karl: you're still blaming Bush
for your problems!

Carney: you brought up 2009

Karl: Would Jay Carney as a reporter
be satisfied with White House openness now?

Carney: reporters always want more

Karl: aha!

[ break ]

Karl: what can Obama get done in 2014?

Roberts: it's possible to get
immigration reform

Santorum: that's doubtful –
Obama is very vindictive

Karl: come on – I hate Obama too
but he genuinely tried to get
immigration reform done

Jones: he's going to propose reforms
but will run against obstructionism
if nothing happens

Van Susteren: it can't work because
government is incapable of anything

Roberts: the people are fed up!
Throw the bums out! 
Both sides are too blame!

Karl: you are so wise Cokie

Jones: Obama saved the American
economy and Republicans 
keep obstructing him

Karl: this is just like 1994! and 2010!
Republican are awesome! I love it!!

Santorum: Obama caused the recession!!

Roberts: Republicans are right 
about government!!

Santorum: This is Obama's economy!
Also Obama can't get anything done!!

Jones: which is it?

Santorum: both!

[ break ]

Karl: OMG look at this move –
I love Mitt Romney so much!!

Raddatz: the real Mitt is so wonderful!!

Karl: so great!

Raddatz: he's a religious hard-working
family man who's also rich

Filmmaker: I'm like a nature photographer

Raddatz: are you sure you're objective?

Filmmaker: Romney is just
too good for the rest of us

Raddatz: poor Mitt couldn't play
the game but now he's a movie star!!

[ break ]

Karl: Bob McDonnell traded
access for a Rolex and a Ferrari

Van Susteren: oh sure it looks bad but
if they offered a good plea deal it
proves McDonnell is probably innocent

Santorum: I'm sorry but this 
behavior is not okay

Roberts: yes this the worst thing
in Washington – it's just tawdry