Sunday, August 21, 2011

Meet The Press - August 21, 2011

Host: Savannah Guthrie
Guests:
Robert Gibbs - Obama Campaign Advisor
Gov. Mitch Daniels (R-IN)
Harold Ford
E.J. Dionne
Maria Bartiromo
Peggy Noonan
**********************************
Guthrie: OMG the rebels have discovered
a weakness in Qaddafi’s defenses

Audience: the more he tightens his grip
the more they slip through his fingers

Guthrie: Bob only 26% approve of Obama
on the economy

Gibbs: he has a jobs plan you know

Guthrie: good to know

Gibbs: this election will be about
Wall Street vs Main Street

Guthrie: what about people sleeping
on the street

Gibbs: Obama inherited a major crisis

Guthrie: he’s been President for 2 1/2 years

Gibbs: we need the GOP to put aside
partisanship work and work with Obama

Guthrie: Obama said he would be a
one-term President if the economy
didn't turn around

Gibbs: Obama can’t do it alone Savannah

Guthrie: he had a Democratic Congress

Gibbs: and when we did we had
strong economic growth!

Guthrie: do you really think patent reform
is enough?

Gibbs: it’s a start

Guthrie: why doesn’t Obama make the case
for what he wants?

Gibbs: he does that every day and the
Republicans reject their own ideas because
they’re afraid it might help Obama get reelected

Guthrie: why doesn’t Obama create some jobs

Gibbs: we lost 8 million jobs in the recession

Guthrie: that’s bad

Gibbs: we can’t go back to a time when
Wall Street ran everything

Guthrie: should Obama take a vacation
when the Dow is dropping?

Gibbs: what better place to console
Wall Street bankers than Martha’s Vineyard?

Guthrie: but it looks bad!

Gibbs: they have cell phone service
there now you know

Guthrie: Rick Perry said Obama doesn’t
love America because he never served
in the armed forces

Gibbs: Rick also said he wants to secede
from the United States

Guthrie: Bachmann said Obama fears her most

Gibbs: she is pretty damn scary

Guthrie: true

Gibbs: why does Texas have such a
crappy school system? Why does Romney
have such a bad jobs record? Who shot J.R.??

Guthrie: I believe that was Rick Perry

Gibbs: you see my point

Guthrie: is your strategy to portray
Mitt Romney as weird?

Gibbs: Romney is worried we’re regulating
Wall Street too much - that is weird

Guthrie: what happened to
‘Change We Can Believe In’?

Gibbs: do you want George W Bush again?
Well do you??

[ break ]

Guthrie: Mitch who do you support
for President?

Daniels: me

Guthrie: GOP voters are desperate
enough to speculate about Rudy Giuliani

Daniels: the more the merrier I say

Guthrie: so you admit the current field is weak

Daniels: we need someone who can
unify the whole nation

Guthrie: who can possibly do that?

Daniels: Paul Ryan is the one hope
for poor people in this county

Guthrie: sounds like you want him to run

Daniels: I love that unpopular geek

Guthrie: you urged polite rhetoric but
Rick Perry threatened to shoot the Fed Chairman

Daniels: he was right - the Republican
Federal Reserve will destroy America to help Obama

Guthrie: he accused Bernanke of treason!

Daniels: well printing money is pretty bad

Guthrie: the candidates would reject 10-1
spending cuts from tax increases!

Daniels: the Democrats are just as bad
because they won’t get rid of Medicaid

Guthrie: how does a high debt cost jobs?

Daniels: Obama high debt had led to
high interest rates which wrecks the economy!

Guthrie: interest rates are at an all time low!

Daniels: we can’t afford these high rates!

Guthrie: what are you talking about?

Daniels: regulations are too damm high!

Guthrie: will you run for President?

Daniels: ha no

Guthrie: how about Vice President?

Daniels: oh my god

Guthrie: thanks for coming Mitch

[ break ]

Guthrie: should Rick Perry have accused
Ben Bernanke of treason?

Noonan: Reagan was benign and cuddly
and he could sell destructive policies with a
twinkle in his eye

Bartiromo: Perry was pushed over the edge
by Obama’s failure of leadership

Guthrie: it’s a throwback to the 80s
questioning Obama’s patriotism!

Dionne: someone tell Rick Perry that
Obama and Bernanke are not hippies

Ford: Perry has so many wonderful qualities
- why doesn’t he talk about that instead?

Guthrie: good point

Ford: I think the GOP will nominate
someone serious and terrific

Guthrie: like who?

Ford: Chris Christie

Guthrie: who can save the GOP??

Ford: Rudy Giuliani

Guthrie: can Sarah Palin save America?

Noonan: this is how desperate people are
- they’re begging Mitch Daniels to run

Dionne: we don’t need another candidate
- they all agree we should return
to the Gilded Age

Guthrie: Bachmann said she will return
to $1.99 gas

Bartiromo: sounds good to me

Guthrie: is that realistic?

Bartiromo: at least Bachmann has a
vision for America

Dionne: more like a hallucination

Guthrie: Obama shouldn’t go on vacation
unlike other Presidents

Noonan: there is a sense out there that a
real leader would not go to Martha’s Vineyard

Ford: I’ve been talking to big businesses
and they tell me they would love less
regulations and lower taxes

Bartiromo: the markets would love that

Guthrie: would they really?

Bartiromo: Businesses are sitting on
$2.5 trillion and they are waiting until
Republicans get elected and lower
taxes even more

Guthrie: of course

Bartiromo: Dodd-Frank is the law so
why are regulations being written to enforce it?

Ford: stop bashing Wall Street!

Dionne: Wall Street should go on tv and
support a new stimulus

Guthrie: why doesn’t Obama go on tv and say
‘by golly this is what I want’

Dionne: right - then people know
what you stand for

Guthrie: Peggy you said Obama is a loser

Noonan: yes a dorky skinny indonesian loser

Guthrie: Obama is reading a bunch of
high-falutin’ books

Dionne: no one like a brainac

Guthrie: speaking of that - Michele Bachmann
won the Iowa straw poll

Bartiromo: she can give us confidence as a
world beating economy

Ford: Mitch Daniels must hate Mitt Romney
or he wouldn’t praise Paul Ryan

Guthrie: he is adorable

Ford: Wall Street is Main Street dammit!

Guthrie: and that’s another episode of
Meet The Press

*************************************
Virtually Speaking Sundays
Sunday, Aug 21 | 9 pm eastern | 6 pm pacific |
“Our Media Not Theirs” | Culture of Truth and David Dayen consider developments of the week, highlighting issues neglected or misrepresented on the Sunday morning broadcasts of traditional media. Culture's weekly translations decode what passes on Sunday morning traditional media for political talk shows. Dave writes for the News Desk at FDL and has been blogging about state and national issues since 2004. | Listen live and later on BTR

**************************************************

This Week with Christiane Amanpour - August 21, 2011

Guests:
Fmr Gov. John Huntsman (R-UT)
Frank Luntz
George Will
Donna Brazile
Jeff Zeleny
*********************
Tapper: wow Libyan rebels are closing
in on Qaddafi with a little help from
their NATO friends

Audience: ooh

Tapper: Pawlenty dropped out because he
was too rational - do you have the same problem?

Huntsman: Yes but I have distinguished
silver hair

Tapper: what is your plan?

Huntsman: get rid of the regulatory monkeys

Tapper: you raised taxes on the middle class
and cut taxes for the rich

Huntsman: yes but I also want to
get rid of all tax loopholes except for
the popular ones

Tapper: Mitt Romney says we need one
bracket for everyone

Huntsman: Whether Vain is an idiot

Tapper: Rick Perry says climate
change isn’t real

Huntsman: if the GOP becomes
anti-science that will not be good

Tapper: If?

Huntsman: People like science Jake

Tapper: Perry wants to beat up
Ben Bernanke because he might
boost the economy

Huntsman: he’s a moron but the point
is Obama is too liberal

Tapper: is Perry unelectable?

Huntsman: he’s certifiable

Tapper: Bachmann says gas will be
cheap when she’s President

Huntsman: she’s not grounded in reality

Tapper: you said she would crash
the economy

Huntsman: she argued for default
which is insane

Tapper: so did all the other candidates

Huntsman: Obama should have walked
away from the teleprompter and
used the bully pulpit

Tapper: you said you would reject 10-1
spending cuts for tax increases

Huntsman: it was a nonsense question

Tapper: you didn’t have to raise your hand

Huntsman: I was just stretching

Tapper: you’re not very popular

Huntsman: I’m on your show!

Tapper: true

Huntsman: I’m a leader, a businessman
and a Republican who rejects utter insanity

Tapper: well good luck with that

Huntsman: thanks

[ break ]

Tapper: this race seems up for grabs

Luntz: Primary voters wants someone
who can win but also won’t compromise

Tapper: I see

Luntz: They think Romney can win but
he’s such a fucking weasel

Tapper: how about the other candidates?

Luntz: Perry seems a little crazy and
Bachmann gets all her instructions from
the mother ship

Tapper: ok what about Chris Christie

Luntz: he’s in your face and a jerk and
people love that

Huntsman: should Paul Ryan run

Luntz: he’s a fighter and he’s a got a plan

Tapper: but it’s a terrible pan

Luntz Ryan is the sunny optimist of the GOP

Tapper: dear god

[ break ]

Tapper: should Chris Christie run for President?

Will: he thinks he would lose and he is
right about that

Tapper: Who would beat Obama?

Brazile: not a one of these nutters

Zeleny: Perry was cool but after one day
of campaigning people realized he’s a wacko

Tapper: people are worried about the
future of America

Luntz: they don’t trust their government,
schools, Wall Street, or reality tv shows

Tapper: wow

Luntz: Trust No One!

Tapper: It’s an X-Files election!

Luntz: Purity Control!

Tapper: Rick Perry had an interesting week

Will: Perry is a real Texas cowboy which
makes people nervous

Tapper: Can he win?

Brazile: he’s folksy and down to earth

Tapper: he’s an adorable gun-toting lunatic

Brazile: don’t count Barack out either!

Tapper: he was wildly popular in the morning
and by the afternoon the media learned
he’s frightening

Zeleny: he can talk to businesses and give
a sermon on Sunday

Tapper: he's a chameleon or a least
a gila monster

Zeleny: aside from threating to shoot the
Chair of the Federal Reserve I thought
he had a great week

Tapper: what about Sarah Palin?

Luntz: Bachmann is running and there's only
room for one crazy female candidate

Tapper: so how do you win?

Luntz: Washington politicians need to admit
they are failures and people will love them for it

Tapper: thanks for coming everyone
********************************************

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Meet The Press - August 14, 2011

Guests:
Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN)
Terry Branstad
Eugene Robinson
Mike Murphy
Chuck Todd
Jonathan Martin
***************************
Gregory: OMG Tim Pawlenty has dropped out
and boring white men all over are very sad

Gregory: Michele are you the front runner in Iowa?

Bachmann: This is my Waterloo!

Gregory: you made T-Paw cry

Bachmann: I love that little dweeb

Gregory: what about Rick Perry?

Bachmann: do we really need another
dimwit Texas governor Fluffy?

Gregory: you’ve only been in the House
a few years - is that enough experience?

Bachmann: I know how devastating high taxes
are since I devastated people for the IRS

Gregory: I see

Bachmann: I also started a small business
converting gay people

Gregory: gotcha

Bachmann: I was the tip of the spear to not
pay the nation’s debts!

Gregory: can you appeal to regular people
in the general election?

Bachmann: I’m from a state which
elected Jesse Ventura

Gregory: that makes sense

Bachmann: I swear I’m not crazy Fluffy!

Gregory: can you turn the economy around?

Bachmann: we need to send a message
to the markets

Gregory: what is that?

Gregory: half of all employees are being fired
because of Obamacare and Dodd-Frank

Gregory: would you support a payroll tax cut?

Bach: we need to slash spending and never
change tax rates ever

Gregory: what else?

Bachmann: cut corporate taxes

Gregory: what about extending jobless benefits?

Bachmann: no we can’t America is broke

Gregory: everyone but you thought threatening
not raising the debt ceiling was insane

Bachmann: but things are bad so we should default

Gregory: that’s crazy!

Bachmann: no I would not raise the debt ceiling
but I also would not default

Gregory: oh I see

Bachmann: the people in America said don’t
raise the debt ceiling

Gregory: but those people are stupid

Bachmann: markets are roiling!

Gregory: Standard & Poors said they downgraded
the U.S. because Republicans made the credit
of the U.S. a bargaining chip

Bachmann: Obama threatened to default but
I would have paid our soldiers

Gregory: but you purposefully started using
the debt as a bargaining chip

Bachmann: I love old people - Obama
threatened default not me!

Gregory: Bill Gross says the tea party
are fucking crazy

Bachmann: the way your grow the economy is to
cut taxes so businesses can hire people

Gregory: I like it

Bachmann: Electrolux vacuum cleaners left
America because the Departments of Transportation
pays 1,000 people $100,000 a year

Gregory: does God require women to be
submissive to husbands

Bachmann: submission is the same as respect

Gregory: I checked with Mrs. Fluffy and she
told me to tell that that isn’t true

Bachmann: we’re a good team like
Liza Minnelli and David Gest

Gregory: are you religious?

Bachmann: I’m not perfect but God guides me

Gregory: would God guide your decisions
as President?

Bachmann: God has been very very good to us

Gregory: would you appoint an atheist
to your cabinet?

Bachmann: why not as long as he or she
wasn’t a liberal?

Gregory: you said that the gay lifestyle is Satanic,
dangerous, dysfunctional sad and enslavement

Bachmann: I don’t judge people

Gregory: sure you do

Bachmann: I ascribe honor and dignity
to gay people

Gregory: it sure doesn’t sound like it

Bachmann: I’m not judging anyone

Gregory: would you let gays in your cabinet?

Bachmann: if they shared my views

Gregory: the view that being gay like
bondage and enslavement

Bachmann: right

Gregory: can gay people be with children be
considered a family?

Bachmann: no they all have bondage cooties

Gregory: yikes

Bachmann: look people in America don’t care
about this they want jobs

Gregory: but you have no economic
credentials either

Bachmann: God wants me to cut taxes!

Gregory: can you really bring Republicans and
Democrats together?

Bachmann: we got the federal government out of
education in Minnesota and I’m very proud of that

Gregory: thanks for coming

[ break ]

Gregory: Hi panelists - Bachmann knocked
T-Paw out of the race!

Todd: It’s now between Romney, Perry and Bachmann

Gregory: no love for Ron Paul?

Todd: he’s crazy by which I mean he’s too sane

Gregory: is Iowa just an evangelical primary?

Branstad: look what happened to Rudy Giuliani -
he was the President of 9/11 and then he skipped
Iowa and he’s doing dinner theater in Mineola

Murphy: If Romney loses here and wins in
New Hampshire and loses in the South
he’s in real trouble

Gregory: oh

Murphy: will we nominate our own
George McGovern?

Martin: this is good for Romney because he
can let Bachmann and Perry fight it out for
the Christian votes

Robinson: Bachmann has impressed a lot of people this week

Gregory: true

Robinson: Obama was having a terrible week
until they saw that debate and his team started
popping champagne

Branstad: Iowans hate debt!

Gregory: is that right?

Branstad: I love Bachmann because she
was a tax lawyer

Gregory: true but Bachmann is also utterly crazy

Todd: a majority of freshman Republicans don’t
even agree with Bachmann on the debt ceiling

Gregory: interesting point

Robinson: she collected taxes for the IRS!

Murphy: there’s a Texas sized barracuda
cheeseburger with hot sauce coming and it’s
topped with a Rick Perry bun!

Branstad: cut the corporate income tax!

Robinson: yes but they have oil in Canada

Branstad: we have oil too but Obama won’t let us use any of it!

Martin: Rick Perry’s problem is he looks like
Josh Brolin playing George Bush

Perry: I promise as President to make Washington
inconsequential!

Todd: that’s crazy - the public wants government

Gregory: I see

Todd: but the populists are angry at Washington

Gregory: Obama says the people don’t want partisanship

Robinson: after the debt fiasco people are more
mad at the Republicans

Branstad: Obama has utterly failed to being sanity
to the Republican party and he blames everyone
else for this sad failure

Murphy: Iowa straw poll voters would vote
against algebra

Martin: Perry created jobs like Romney but also
appeals to evangelicals - he’s got it all!

Todd: This race will go to June 2012

Audience: oh my god

Murphy: Perry is a silo-jumper!

Gregory: people are across America are talking about
the Ames poll, Rick Pawlenty and Rick Perry

Robinson: yes but those people need to get a life

Murphy: T-Paw will endorse Bachmann
when I fly to Jupiter

Martin: Team Obama thinks America
won’t elect an idiot Texan governor

Todd: he’s been in office for 26 years so believe
me Democrats will check his record

Gregory: if the election were held today Obama might lose

Robinson: yes but it’s a year and a half away Fluffy

Gregory: and we’ll be there every step of the way

Audience: oh god

Gregory: and that’s another episode of
Meet The Press

********************************************

This Week with Christiane Amanpour - August 14, 2011

Guests:
Fmr Gov. Tim Pawlenty - (RMN)
Rep. Michele Bachmann - (R-MN)
**************************************
Tapper: hi I’m coming from the center of
the universe - Ames Iowa

Audence: woot

Tapper: Michele Bachmann got 29% of
the vote and Ron Paul got 28% so should
Tim Pawlenty should drop out?

Tapper: Hi T-Paw - what went wrong?

Pawlenty: people don’t like me so I’m dropping out

Tapper: you’re so popular and you’re from a
neighboring state

Pawlenty: I’m rational, experienced and have
a record of results and clearly the voters
want something different

Tapper: you think the voter don’t want
someone rational?

Pawlenty: Michele won and Ron Paul came
in second so draw your own conclusions

Tapper: why not stick it out?

Pawlenty: I’m a realist Tappy

Tapper: this must be devastating for you

Pawlenty: God clearly doesn’t want to me
to be President

Tapper: would Michele Bachmann be
a reckless choice?

Pawlenty: she is crazy

Tapper: Obama is poised to lose but the GOP
could blow it by nominating a divisive nut

Pawlenty: right

Tapper: will you endorse anyone?

Pawlenty: not Michele that's for sure

Tapper: do you think she is even qualified?

Pawlenty: well we’ve had crazy Presidents before

Tapper: thanks for coming Tim

[ break ]

Tapper: so Timster is out - congrats Michele

Bachmann: thanks - I wish that loser well

Tapper: why should a moderate Republican
vote for you?

Bachmann: I’ve created jobs because I
collected taxes for the IRS

Tapper: I see

Pawlenty: I’m authentically wacky

Tapper: Other candidates are far more experienced

Bachmann: I’ve been the tip of the spear
against paying our bills as a nation

Tapper: fascinating

Bachmann: I have a core set of beliefs

Tapper: So does Rick Perry

Bachmann: I’ve been in Washington

Tapper: but people hate Washington

Bachmann: yes but I’ve never been a Governor
like Ronald Reagan was and also Jimmy Carter

Tapper: what exactly is your point Michele?

Bachmann: I led a movement for home schooling
and that’s what I will do as President

Tapper: why would you refuse to pay bills for
money we’ve already spent?

Bachmann: when did we become the biggest
debtor nation in the history of the world?

Tapper: under Reagan actually

Bachmann: and he was a Governor!

Tapper: what exactly would you cut?

Bachmann: I would pay debt holders, soldiers,
and old people - everything else gets eliminated

Tapper: what about Medicare and Medcaid?

Bachmann: those plans are 80 years old -
anyone that old is useless

Tapper: do you believe homosexuality is slavery?

Bachmann: yes but remember families were
very happy in slave days

Tapper: what is your strategy?

Bachmann: Obama is my strategy

Tapper: congrats Michele

Bachmann: thanks - vote for anti-bondage in 2012!

***********************************************

Sunday, August 07, 2011

Meet The Press - August 7, 2011

Sen. John Kerry (D-MA)
Sen. John McCain (R-AZ)
Austan Goolsbee - Chairman of the White House Council of Economic Advisers
Alan Greenspan
Rachel Maddow
Alex Castellanos
*************************************
Gregory: whoa this was the single deadliest
day of the longest war ever

Gregory: Senator are we defeating the enemy
in Afghanistan or not

Kerry: we are transitioning from
Stuck in a Quagmire to Getting The Hell Out

Gregory: General Petraeus told me this
province was safer than Newark

Kerry: that is true

Greg: if we leave will the Taliban just take over?

Kerry: that’s up for grabs

Gregory: that’s a bit troubling

Kerry: these successful attacks show
how successful we are

Gregory: it does?

Kerry: right Fluffy - we’ve narrowed the
battle zone to wherever we are

Gregory: what else?

Kerry: we need to involve the Russians,
the Chinese, India, and the Stans

Kerry: Musial?

Kerry: Laurel

Gregory: right

Kerry: I believe we may be able to prevent
the Taliban taking over the country

Gregory: you call that success in Afghanistan?

Kerry: I was talking about America

Gregory: Standard & Poors said fighting in
Washington caused them downgrade U.S. credit

Kerry: those fuckers

Gregory: is this a Wake Up Call or does
America have a Do Not Disturb sign ?

Kerry: this a Tea Party downgrade!

Gregory: that’s strong stuff

Kerry: our economy encourages putting
capital into gambling instead of investment

Gregory: wow

Kerry: we need to stop the bickering -
we have to stop blaming the downgrade
on politicians

Gregory: I see

Kerry: they were willing to shoot the hostage!

Gregory: that’s scary

Kerry: If John McCain and were co-Presidents
we could solve this

Gregory: really?

Kerry: no actually he’s become kind of an asshole

Gregory: what is the plan for growth?

Kerry: first we must cut the debt and deficit

Gregory: I see

Kerry: we balanced the budget but then we
cut taxes and put 2 wars on a credit card

Gregory: that was fun

Kerry: we need to build more highways
and create an Infrastructure Bank

Gregory: ok

Kerry: our highways and patents are both clogged

Gregory: clearly we need more national fiber

Kerry: we have to find the Happy Middle Ground
of Common Sense

Gregory: yay

[ break ]

Gregory: John was it a Tea Party downgrade?

McCain: Obama never had a plan to
give the GOP give everything they wanted

Gregory: it just kind of happened?

McCain: right Fluffy - the President hasn’t
led so this is all his fault

Gregory: even some Tea Partiers bragged
about taking hostages

McCain: Obama should have a had a plan
to cut corporate taxes

Gregory: I see

McCain: Obama is sending armed EPA agents
with hazmat suits into people kitchens if
they spill milk

Gregory: I did not know that

McCain: we need to buy up people’s mortgages

Gregory: what else?

McCain: S&P is right - we’re a bunch of deadbeats

Gregory: should we politicize the downgrade
or finally cut entitlements?

McCain: yes we must cut Medicaid or we
will be like Greece but with empty mini-malls
instead of ruined temples

Gregory: what about tax increases?

McCain: why should we give money to the
government when they just going to spend
it on annoying old people and unpopular wars

Gregory: interesting argument

McCain: damm right - businessmen never
know when another regulation will be enacted
so of course they invest in China

Gregory: are we pulling out of Afghanistan
too fast and will that dishonor our brave
men and women in uniform

McCain: exactly - leaving a war zone puts
our brave soldiers at risk of being killed

Gregory: of course

McCain: we should attack Pakistan

Gregory: it’s been 10 years!

McCain: no Fluffy - the war has only been going
on for 22 months!

Gregory: really?

McCain: also we have to stay because of 9/11

Gregory: right

McCain: think of the poor Afghan people
and how they will miss us when we’re gone!

Gregory: good point John

McCain: get off my lawn!

[ break ]

Gregory: talk money to me Alan

Greenspan: there are riots in Israel but that’s
not uncommon

Gregory: should I still invest in T-bills?

Greenspan: of course - but I never realized
S&P had the power to jar the American psyche

Gregory: Is S&P credible?

Goolsbee: no - the other agencies which
checked their math didn’t downgrade

Gregory: some say 1 + 1 = 2 but others disagree
so both sides are to blame for the
bickering and impasse

Goolsbee: but then again Congress members
cheering on default is clearly bad

Gregory: some would say that

Goolsbee: we need bipartisanship

Gregory: are we going to double-dip that chip?

Greenspan: our hope lies in the Europe
getting its act together

Gregory: dear god

Greenspan: basically the world economy
depends on Silvio Berlusconi

Audience: bunga bunga!

Gregory: l like cartoons Rachel

Maddow: we all know that Fluffy

Gregory: what does the future hold?

Maddow: S&P called for higher taxes and
blasted the tea party’s hostage taking

Castellanos: the tea party was right!

Maddow: S&P downgraded us because
of the tea party you dimwit

Castellanos: we should thank the Tea Party
for alerting us to the possibility of downgrade
by causing a downgrade

Gregory: Paul Krugman says fuck the debt -
we need stimulus to grown this goddamn
motherfucking economy

Maddow: Paul uses the coarsest language of
any Nobel prize winner other than Doris Lessing

Goolsbee: hey we added 2 million jobs until the
tsunami and the damn Greek crisis

Gregory: Jamie Dimon says Wall Street regulations
put in place to prevent another recession may
cause another recession

Greenspan: this the essential question -
how can we persuade rich people to give us their money?

Castellanos: Obama was petulant just because
the Tea Party caused another recession

Gregory: I see

Castellanos: rich people are sitting on money

Gregory: they won’t invest it?

Castellanos: no it’s sewn into their seat cushions

Gregory: I talked to House Democrats who
said every bad thing was all their fault

Maddow: Democrats are willing to negotiate
and in response Republicans offer two choices
- their way or disaster

Gregory: let’s compromise and have both

Maddow: exactly

Gregory: People hate Congress

Castellanos: we all do Fluffy

Gregory: what about cutting Social Security
you know I love that

Castellanos: Republicans are willing to
compromise and raise revenues

Maddows: really which ones?

Castellanos: The GOP are willing to meet the
Democrats halfway by cutting taxes

Maddow: [ laughs ]

Goolsbee: ok how about we cut taxes on the poor

Gregory: what’s the deal with this fucking
Super Congress?

Greenspan: the debt is worse than we thought

Gregory: well what’s the solution?

Greenspan: we must cut spending and this
will cause pain but it’s either that or raise taxes
and the IMF says we can’t do that

Castellanos: Presidential candidates
should lead now

Gregory: like Mitt Romney

Castellanos: Whether Vain rode down into
a battlefield and shot the wounded

Maddow: if we pretend S&P is credible then
we have to blame the tea party

Goolsbee: but it’s not since the U.S. will
always pay its debts

Gregory: Rick Perry had an awesome prayer rally

Castellanos: he’s sarah palin in a skirt -
with a george bush taint

Gregory: I must confess that does not
sound appealing to me

Gregory: should we stay in Afghanistan?

Maddow: Democrats and the GOP are both
split on the war - some want to leave right away
while others want to stick around for two years

Gregory: do you have hope for the Super Congress?

Greenspan: it will fail because one person
on the committee has to switch parties

Gregory: and that’s another episode of
Meet The Press
*******************************************

This Week with Christiane Amanpour - August 7, 2011

Guests:
John Chambers - Standard & Poors
Sen. Jeff Sessions
Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-UT)
Steven Rattner
Melanie Hobson
George Will
Cokie Roberts
******************************
Amanpour: OMG the debt was downgraded
and 22 Navy SEALS were killed

Raddatz: the SEAL team was going in to help
another team of SEAL which was there to fight
the Taliban which were there to fight Americans

Amanpour: I thought we secured this area

Raddatz: we did but it was secure so we left

Amanpour: makes sense

Amanpour: in a few hours international gamblers
will react to the downgrade

Amanpour: the White House said S&P are a
bunch of idiot amateurs who missed $2 trillion
and your decision was driven by politics

Chambers: baby the numbers don’t lie

Amanpour: but people do

Chambers: on Wall Street we call it
“adjusting truth downwards”

Amanpour: what about the future?

Chambers: we will probably downgrade
America again

Amanpour: how does D.C. get its
groove back?

Chambers: it will take 10 years at least

Amanpour: ye gods

Chambers: there needs to be consensus
to slash the debt

Amanpour: do you think that could happen
in today’s political climate?

Chambers: If politicians had followed
Simpson-Bowles and cut entitlements
we would not have downgraded

Amanpour: that sounds like you’re taking
a political position

Chambers: I wouldn’t lend the American
people money - would you?

Amanpour: all my money is invested in
swiss francs and antidepressants

[ break ]

Amanpour: was the downgrade justified?

Governor Martin O'Malley: no - Standard & Poors
are idiots who can’t add

Amanpour: neither can most politicians

O'Malley: that’s true but the tea party has
prevented consensus

Amanpour: Is this the wake up call or is
America going to hit the snooze button?

Sessions: our debt is unsustainable and
Obama irresponsibly calls for investment

Amanpour: oh

Sessions: Obama has to look the American
people in the eye and tell them massive
borrowing and spending was good when
Republicans were President and now it’s unacceptable

Amanpour: will you raise taxes?

Sessions: that is unthinkable

Amanpour: so you will not think it

Sessions: that is my position on most things

O'Malley: he worships the false god of tax cuts

Sessions: Ayn Ra-And is real!

Amanpour: ok Jeffers

Sessions: Bush cut the debt

O'Malley: he’s an idiot

Amanpour: will the Super Congress
come to the rescue?

Sessions: according to S&P we need to get
rid of all old people

O'Malley: even Republican voters agree we
need to raise taxes and invest to create jobs

[ break ]

Amanpour: how bad is it George?

Will: Standard & Poors are entirely idiots
and threw out some nonsense about a
dysfunctional democracy

Roberts: George is right of course and
S&P are absurd but let me spout some
conventional wisdom about bumper stickers

Hobson: of course S&P has no credibility -
I mean the idea that America is suddenly
unable to pay debts is stupid

Amanpour: was this a wake up call?

Rattner: I hope so but I doubt it because
S&P are morons

Amanpour: that’s too bad

Rattner: it’s very embarrassing to be
downgraded by people who don’t know what
they are talking about

Amanpour: what the answer?

Rattner: America must have an austerity
program like France

Amanpour: did the tea party go to far?

Chaffetz: the tea party has been proven right!

Amanpour: it was?

Chaffetz: yes we in the heartland we know we
need to spend less and spend more on defense

Amanpour: you called the tea party terrorists!

Rattner: you bet I did - the tax cuts got us
into this problem and the tea party pretends
to care about the debt but then rules out all taxes

Roberts: S&P said we need to repeal the Bush tax cuts

Amanpour: don’t politicians need to compromise?

Chaffetz: the tea party compromised a lot
by agreeing to raise the debt ceiling and pay
the bills for stuff we already bought

Amanpour: 82% of people disapprove of Congress
and the other 18% hate polls

Hobson: people want jobs - nothing else
really matters

Goolsbee: we can create good new
call center jobs

Will: clearly stimulus doesn’t work so lets
try something else

Hobson: let’s lower taxes on corporations
and pay businesses to hire people

Chaffetz: the EPA caused the recession

Rattner: we saved the auto industry

Amanpour: Rick Perry is going to pray
the recession away

Will: I can’t fucking wait

Chaffetz: even the tea partiers think he’s a nut

Amanpour: thanks everyone for coming
************************************