August 22, 2010
Guests:
Hamiz Karzai - President of Afghanistan
Daisy Khan - American Society for Muslim Advancement
Rabbi Joy Levitt
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Amanpour: Hey Afghanistan still isn’t very peaceful
Soldier: If I see a stranger walking around I get suspicious and tail them
Audience: so it’s like Greenwich Connecticut
Soldier: we will root out the fuckin Taliban
Amanpour: President Karzai can you reach an agreement with our new best friends the Taliban
Karzai: oh sure they just have to promise to keep
the craziness to a minimum
Amanpour: that’s nice but women’s groups are worried that the Taliban are not exactly feminists
Karzai: oh they shouldn’t worry their pretty heads
Amanpour: but the Taliban stoned a couple to
death last week
Karzai: yeah that was pretty shocking
Amanpour: can you win this war or not
Karzai: yes but first we have to admit we did everything wrong for the last 9 years
Amanpour: like what specifically
Karzai: like killing civilians, corruption, mercenaries-
Amanpour: you’re not a fan of private contract killers?
Karzai: no I’m not - surprisingly the government doesn’t approve of a parallel foreign corporate shadow government which rules by terror at night
Amanpour: by they protect you and diplomats
and aid groups
Karzai: look if the U.S. needs private contractors that’s fine but they can’t just roam the streets killing people
Amanpour: that’s the army’s job
Karzai: exactly
Amanpour: but the Afghan people still haven’t learned how to kill people - the US hasn’t taught them how since it’s only been 9 years
Karzai: that’s insane Christiane -
Amanpour: is it?
Karzai: yes of course we know how to fight - but Afghans take money to fight with private contractors
Amanpour: fascinating
Karzai: maybe the US taxpayer should worry about whether they are paying for thugs who are hurting the war effort
Amanpour: but if you disband these wonderful contractors won’t they all become terrorists?
Karzai: if that’s true they should be disbanded tomorrow!
Amanpour: one of your close aides was arrested and then released because you intervened
Karzai: fucking right Christiane - he was kidnapped in the name of law enforcement
Amanpour: oh I see
Karzai: I am the fucking President you know
Amanpour: but corruption is real problem
Karzai: I wouldn't know - I don’t work for Disney
or General Electric
Amanpour: thanks Hamid
[ break ]
Amanpour: Ms. Khan your lower manhattan community center is controversial why not work with victim’s families
Khan: we’ve been working with 9/11 families all along
Levitt: we have a JCC so why not have similar community center
Amanpour: so will it have those scary minarets?
Kahn: well there’s a swimming pool-
Amanpour: okay
Kahn: and a meeting place to exchange ideas and preach tolerance
Amanpour: well no wonder the right wingers
are so mad
Khan: mmm
Amanpour: Gov. Paterson said people who live down there are upset
Khan: the few people who live there approved it
Amanpour: shouldn’t you have reached out to people who hate you
Levitt: indeed Jews reach out to neo-Nazis whenever they build a community center
Amanpour: really?
Levitt: no of course not
Amanpour: Newt Gingrich says all Muslims are Nazis
Levitt: forgive me but he’s an asshole
Khan: he really is an ignorant dick isn’t he
Amanpour: is there any foreign funding for your community terror center
Khan: we will adhere to all the laws of New York state
Amanpour: but what about the special laws that only apply Muslims
Khan: what are those?
Amanpour: like when your husband said the U.S. once supported Osama bin Laden
Khan: what he said was true
Amanpour: but it wasn’t a very nice thing
to point out
Amanpour: Is America Islamaphobic?
Khan: gee let me think - yes
Levitt: sure it is
Amanpour: will you go ahead with your hateful swimming center?
Khan: you bet Chrissie
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Sunday, August 22, 2010
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