Sunday, November 23, 2008

Meet the Press with Lieberman, Daley & Baker - November 23, 2008

Meet The Press
November 23, 2008
Richard Daley
James Baker
Sen. Joe Lieberman

Brokaw: Obama said he wants to jump start the economy - is he FDR or Stalin??

Daley: he's not going to wait until he's sworn in - he's going to unfuck America now!

Brokaw: what about ending all trade

Daley: he's going to have a very large package

Brokaw: but will the Republican party go along?

Daley: who gives a shit?

Baker: this is very serious so i have to agree that government spending could be good

Daley: he's a lawyer who cares what he thinks?

Brokaw: will Obama not increase taxes on the super wealthy?

Daley: maybe

Baker: thank god!

Brokaw: indeed

Baker: everyone knows that President need competent people

Daley: except for Bush

Baker: right

Baker: this is only a crisis of confidence - all we need if for Bush and Obama to sit down and do something jointly to calm America the fuck down

Brokaw: like what?

Baker: like they could agree that Bush could take a 60 day vacation to Vanuatu

Brokaw: Bush leaving is his finest hour as President

Daley: hey we only have one president at a time sadly

Brokaw: dammit will Bush be defenestrated or not!!?

Baker: seriously Obama should just stage a coup - hell I'm his father's best friend and even I think it's a great idea

Brokaw: so bloodless revolution - yes or no!?!

Daley: we're mulling it over

Baker: Ok Obama named an economic team but it's not enough - he needs to seize the White House right now!!!

Daley: i dunno...

Brokaw: Criminy America can't survive 8 weeks of Stupid and the Beaker!

Baker: fuck yeah!

Brokaw: Tom Friedman demands a Revolution now!!

Daley: he's just panicking because his wife's company is losing billions

Brokaw: so is mine!!

Baker: mine too!!

[ waves pitchfork ]

Brokaw: Bailout Detroit - yes or no?

Daley: yes and no

Baker: Ronald Reagan said fuck 'em and it worked - Detroit made better cars

Brokaw: well then why are they bankrupt now?

Baker: well that's fault of the Unions and Bill Clinton

Brokaw: Hillary as Sec of State - omg!!!!

Baker: oh all of Obama's choices are good - unlike Stupid's

Brokaw: but don't you speak for Bush’s father?

Baker: dood you don't even what to know the Oedipal issues in that psycho family

Brokaw: what is the Bush family Thanksgiving like?

Baker: it makes the House of Atreus look like Brady Bunch

[ break ]

Brokaw: Welcome traitorous asshole - your president has brought us economic free fall

Lieberman: this has my jowls drooping even more than usual - i suggest a tax credit for whining

Brokaw: so what can we do?

Lieberman: Bush should show his leadership by plowing wheel barrows of money to hedge funds in Greenwich Connecticut

Brokaw: you endorsed john McCain - one of the worst candidates ever

Lieberman: i love him

Brokaw: you said you would not attack Obama and then you did exactly that

Lieberman: that is true - but i was speaking to Democrats

Brokaw: while speaking to Republicans

Lieberman: Let's not bicker about who smeared who

Brokaw: did you enjoy it when Republicans lied about Obama and called him a terrorist?

Lieberman: Oh did I mention i endorsed Obama in 2008?

Brokaw: no you didn't

Lieberman: well I wish i did

Brokaw: you said Obama was weak and naive and not ready and Palin was a great lady

Lieberman: [ smirks ]

Brokaw: were you lying at the time

Lieberman: oh that was just politics - i have no idea about that

Brokaw: you really are a supercillious disingenuous little shit aren't you?

Lieberman: God put me back in office dood

Brokaw: they took away your seat on the Environment committee

Lieberman: maybe but I kept my seat on Homeland Security so really i won

Brokaw: amazing

Lieberman: Obama put me back in that Committee - he knows how awesome I am

Brokaw: he keeps your balls in a jar on his desk

Lieberman: yurp

Brokaw: you've always been a sanctimonious dick

Lieberman: who among us have not smeared someone else in the heat of a campaign?

Brokaw: did you talk to Obama?

Lieberman: he won't take my calls

Brokaw: who did

Lieberman: Rahm called me

Brokaw: what did he say?

Lieberman: he called me a motherfucking cocksucker motherfucker

Brokaw: in the spirit of reconciliation

Brokaw: what's the future for you and McCain?

Lieberman: he will play a leadership role I am sure

Brokaw: how so?

Lieberman: by groveling

Brokaw: anything else

Lieberman: Obama is not a Democrat he's an American

Brokaw: you're a piece of work, I'll give you that

Lieberman: warble

Brokaw: warble warble

[ break ]

Brokaw: What will the Market say about Obama?

Burnett: The Market loves Geithner but if Obama creates 2 million jobs that's not enough

Brokaw: Citigroup is imploding!

Erin Burnett: truly shocking

Brokaw: Should Bush resign or should Obama just seize power?

Chuck Todd: that's a tough call

Gene Robinson: is anyone else surprised that Baker is suggesting a fucking coup?

Brokaw: well why not

Todd: we need it!

Burnett: Citigroup is failing - we need a revolution now!

Brokaw: Bailout Detroit?

Ingrassia: we need to save Detroit from government red tape, unions, pensions, and exploding cars

Brokaw: how do we save Detroit?

Ingrassia: invalidate unions contracts

Brokaw: can that work?

Ingrassia: sure look at Honda they are selling cars

Brokaw: can GM be saved?

Ingrassia: yes if they can be rebooted by trashing unions

Brokaw: but they have seen the light!

Robinson: maybe - but it is very frustrating dealing with these high flying executives

Brokaw: Obama has to tell the labor unions to fuck off

Todd: oh absolutely everyone knows employees are just as responsible for failure as owners and management

Brokaw: that's what Obama and Bush should do - get together and crush the unions

Ingrassia: works for me

Brokaw: the Clintonistas are back!!

Todd: ha ha ha

Brokaw: ha ha ha

Todd: but what about Jim Jones - it's a Team of Egos

Brokaw: ha ha ha ha

Todd: it's all Drama!!

Brokaw: the Marc Rich pardon!

Robinson: Oh noes!

Brokaw: i just love reliving Clinton scandals

Robinson: President Bush approved torture

Brokaw: never heard of him

Todd: Hispanics wanted a seat at the Big Boys table

Brokaw: ha ha ha ha ha

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Brokaw: what's the future for you and McCain?

Lieberman: he will play a leadership role I am sure

Brokaw: how so?

Lieberman: by groveling


Warble, warble.